What is good my fellow Musicians, Producers, Young Artists, Rappers, Home Studios, Singers, Songwriters, and Beat Makers alike. I am back with yet another resource to challenge your growth.
I had a conversation with one of my students last Friday about his behavior in class. It was getting out of hand. My focus wasn't on the behavior at this point though. I had an epiphany... Maybe it's not that he genuinely wants to act a fool, maybe he's got something in his life that he can't control or has been told he's a failure for so long that he's unstoppable - there's no one else to let down if he just gives up all together.
His words exactly,
"The people that I wanted to believe in me don't and the people that see my potential see that I'm a failure anyways. So if I'm a failure, I don't have anyone to disappoint or let down because I can't fail any further..."
Have you ever thought about that?
If you're a teacher, you need to think about that.
If you are in school and know kids that act up, you need to think about that too.
If you are a mentor, you need to mentor kids like this.
If you feel you were/are a failure in school yourself, let's talk more about that.
Background & Forgiveness:
I can relate. There's nothing that comes close to feeling that no one believes in you.
"Your childhood circumstances are not your fault..."
But we tend to carry the weight of those that hurt us as if it was our fault. Unfortunately, this doesn't do anyone harm but ourselves. I have had to learn this the hard way.
I told my student,
"You're not failing anybody but yourself... Whether you like it or not, I believe in you. You could literally do nothing, be either homeless, a dropout or the CEO of a huge bank, and I'll still think you're a great guy. I hope the best for you, but by not being your best, you are only failing yourself, not me or anyone else..."
Forgiveness is easier said than done - if it was easy, we'd all be doing it and have no reason for depression and social phobias... So I continued,
"I forgive you man. I know you are made for better than this. Your circumstance is not your fault, your exposure to drugs is not your fault, you've had adults fail you in life and I'm sorry to say that they will continue to for the rest of your life... But you've got to forgive them. When I did, that weight was lifted off my shoulders and I started caring for others that don't ask for it. I realized not everyone wants to see me fail, I just needed to be the first to believe in someone else and help them achieve their goals..."
He wasn't happy to be having the conversation at first but as I continued, it really seemed to soak in...
"You don't forgive someone for them... You forgive them for you. You don't do it because they deserve it or ask for it, you do it so you don't have to carry their failures... You are not a failure. Your dad's death wasn't your fault. That's not who you are... You don't have to hold on to that..."
His eyes started watering ever so slightly. I continued,
"I get it... 99% of you is ok with being a failure. 99% of you doesn't want me to tell you this. 99% of you would rather continue being comfortable as a failure because you've got nothing to lose, but because I know how you feel, there's 1% in you that is really glad to be having this conversation and know that you can't fail me..."
"Let's take that 1%, I'm here if you need me, and forgive yourself, forgive those who have failed you and who will fail you in the future. Let's turn it around man, because 1% of you wants to be a CEO, highly successful and able to achieve all your goals."
He shook my hand firmly, looked me in the eye and said "I got you..."
What to do When no one Believes in You:
Forgive them. Move on. Do it for yourself. Then give it forth. Believe in others.
"The best revenge is the one grace flows from..."
If you've known me for a while, you will know that I have a passion for empowering, sharing resources and encouraging others to grow in their craft. I believe in the revolution that is changing the music industry and I am personally experiencing this revolution... I want you to be a part of this revolution, so I also offer Coaching and Mixing Services to anyone who wants to improve the sound of their mixes, so they can stand out on the charts as well as grow in their knowledge as a home based artist.
If you're interested in having a coach challenge you along this journey, or you want to improve the mix of your songs, get in touch with me; I will be more than happy to help. I look forward to helping you take your songs to the next level:
I hope you enjoyed and were encouraged by this article. I look forward to working with you. If I should add something, feel free to let me know or comment below. If you think someone could benefit from this information, go ahead and share this article. If you have your own ideas that have been working for you, let me know what they are; I'd love to learn about what you guys are doing. If you have questions, feel free to contact me. What would you like to know next? Let me know in the comments below. Do me a favor, smash that like button, share it, let me know what you guys want to learn next, be nice to someone, and have a great day!